


Lord of the Holidays

by Comebackmywaywardpie



Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 11:53:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10535922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Comebackmywaywardpie/pseuds/Comebackmywaywardpie





	

~Easter~

Aragorn: So let me understand this correctly. You send children out to hunt a rabbits egg?  
Eric: Yes.  
Merry: Do the children receive a special magical power if they retrieve the egg?  
Pippin: And does it come with bacon too?  
Aragorn: Rabbits do not lay eggs Pippin…  
Pippin: *Sad sigh*  
Eric: Well yeah I know that but its sort of like a magical rabbit that hides its eggs for children to find them, and no they don’t. 

~Legolas, Merry, Boromir wander in~

Legolas: So what are we talking about?  
Aragorn: An evil entity that hides its eggs to lure children into its deadly trap.  
Eric: *Face palms* No!! He doesn’t lure children to their doom!  
Legolas: We should slay the beast before it causes any harm!  
Merry: And harness its power!

*Everyone looks at Merry*

In unison: No.  
Pippin: We can make second breakfast with its eggs!  
In unison: Yah!!  
Eric: Ok I didn’t want to do this but you leave me know choice I’m going to get the big boss!  
In unison mockingly: Ohh!! The big boss! Pshhttt no one can do anything to convince us from slaying the evil bunny entity!!!   
Eric: *Taps the screen* Oi! I Need your help to save the Easter bunny! Please help me to convince them not to kill the Easter bunny, and you shall become a legendary hero who saved the Easter bunny!

Reader whoever you may be male or female, please aid Eric in the difficult quest in saving the Easter bunny! XOXOXO The Author!  
Reader: *1)Convince the fellowship to leave the Easter bunny.*  
2) *Or just scream at your screen scaring the shit out of the fellowship so they will leave the poor Easter bunny alone.*

~Version 1~

Aragorn: Ok you are a very reasonable smart person thank you.  
Legolas: I love your clothes!  
Pippin: Want to have second breakfast together?  
Eric: Thank you!  
Boromir: Never before have I met someone like you. Thank you for stopping us from making a huge mistake.  
Merry: So how do we paint the eggs and harness their power?  
Pippin: And can we have tomatoes and bacon with it? 

~Version 2~

Aragorn: Of course we understand thank you for……… um…. Yeah…..  
Legolas: *Wets self*  
Pippin: Gimli would approve of your vocabulary ;)  
Eric: *sidesteps away from you* Ok… thank you…  
Boromir: *Shudders* So much cussing!  
Merry: Pssst! Can we harness its power?  
*Big boss leaves with a badass walk*  
*Everyone else goes to hide in the bathroom, except for Aragorn, Legolas and Boromir*  
Legolas: *phew* That was creepy and scary!  
Aragorn: Hey wait…. where’s Gandalf and Gimli??  
Boromir: Didn’t you hear the author killed them.  
Aragorn and Legolas in unison: WHAT!!!???!?!?!?  
Legolas: How!!??  
Boromir: Well Gimli was by the metal trees *Cellphone towers* and he was mistaken for a red child *Fire hydrant* by a dog and well he was leaning on a metal tree….. so yeah…  
Aragorn: And Gandalf?  
Boromir: Ah yes. Well you see he tripped…  
Legolas with a look of confusion: He tripped and died?  
Boromir: Yes he tripped over a cliff.  
Aragorn: But why?  
Boromir: Because it is what the author wished to do.  
Legolas: *Stares at the screen* Give them back now!  
Boromir: Hush! Do not anger the author!  
Aragorn moons author while saying nah nah nan a nah!!!  
Boromir: You are both fools!  
*Ground cracks, shakes and crumbles*  
Author: WHO DARES TO DISTURB MY STORY!!!!  
*Boromir points at Legolas and Aragorn*  
Legolas and Aragorn in unison: Traitor.  
Author: HOW DARE YOU! I OUGHT TO CUT YOUR HAIR OFF *POINTS TO LEGOLAS* AND I OUGHT TO DROWN YOU IN SHAMPOO AND SOAP! *POINTS TO ARAGORN*  
Legolas: Oh the horror!  
Aragorn: Please not the soap! Anything but the soap!!! We are terrible sorry!!!  
Legolas: Yes tremendously sorry your gracious!  
Author: KISS UPS! BUT VERY WELL I WON’T DO ANYTHING TO YOU NOW BUT SOMETHING WILL BE COMING YOUR WAY SOON! ITS CALLED THE FELLOWSHIP HAS A BAD DAY! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!  
Legolas: Please have mercy!  
Aragorn: Please do not! We are truly sorry!!  
Author: TOO LITTLE TOO LATE!! SUCKERS!!!!!!  
*SASSY WALK OUT*  
Boromir looking at Legolas and Aragon: What you done!!!!???? 

 

~Authors note~  
Hello! I hope you all felt badass and happy during this chapter, I will be doing more of these just let me know the holidays so I can do more research on them. :D Also how would you have saved the Easter bunny?


End file.
